Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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