Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
