I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
