rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize