So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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