wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
