I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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