dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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