She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
