Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
A+ Viking dick
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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