I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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