Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
