Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
