Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize