I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize