Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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