I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
