Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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