The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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