3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize