I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
