Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
