he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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