Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
