You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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