I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
