i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
