Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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