What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
