Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
