It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Welp...herpes.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize