My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
