you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
