I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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