yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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