Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
