I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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