i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
