hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
