Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
