We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
