K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yo dont text me then not text me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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