Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
