you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
