I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize