i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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