"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
