Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize