so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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