My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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