i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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