operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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