I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
