I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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