i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You're like the curious george of whores
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
