hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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