She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
