don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
